"Where shall the word be found, where will the word resound? Not here, there is not enough silence." T.S. Eliot, Ash Wednesday
Crystal put this up on her facebook page the other day and it hit me like a ton a bricks.
What a world this could be if we knew how good silence was for us. What a different person I could be if I didn't look for ways to keep myself busy whenever I have the chance to sit, meditate, breathe. I'm so happily surrounded by people, my beautiful family, and so addicted to their presence that I almost cower when I'm alone.
But when I do manage to embrace the space when I have it, something profound happens to me spiritually. I know who I am. I know who I want to be. I feel divine love. I feel peace. My head defragments. I am energized and renewed.
Where will we find truth? Where will God reside? Here in the silence.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
i love this crazy job
I am a full-time EMT working for Central EMS, still green by many standards, having worked a little less than two years in this field. When people call me green, I tell them I like to think of myself as “fresh.” But rather than starting off on the streets full of excitement and wonder, and then gradually burning out as many have, it’s been a strangely upside-down experience for me.
Before I became an EMT, and when I was looking into this field, I had a lot of delusions of fast driving, lights and sirens, excitement, getting away from my office job, and saving lives every hour. And that's why it was so disillusioning at first to see what EMS really is. What I had to learn (and feel like I'm just arriving at) is far different than what the world would have you believe EMS is all about. That we are here for people. We are here to help people no matter what. And especially, the people who aren't easy to help.
If we're twenty hours into a twenty-four hour shift...how can we have a good attitude at three in the morning when we desperately need sleep and a drug seeker or homeless person is abusing our service? We can, but only by realizing that we are here as much or more for them as the ones in critical condition from a car wreck or heart attack. It's easy and fun to help someone who got hurt by accident, who didn't deserve this. But what really excites me about being a paramedic is that when I come to work, I know I will have the chance to help people in all situations - some of them who legitimately need my skills, advanced-life-support knowledge and equipment, and others calling me only because they can’t afford normal care, or they’re afraid and don’t know who to call.
Every day I get to be in a position of leadership, capable of influencing the way people in these vulnerable situations will be treated. For that, I am finally beginning to be so grateful for this crazy job, and learning to love it more than I thought possible two years ago.
Before I became an EMT, and when I was looking into this field, I had a lot of delusions of fast driving, lights and sirens, excitement, getting away from my office job, and saving lives every hour. And that's why it was so disillusioning at first to see what EMS really is. What I had to learn (and feel like I'm just arriving at) is far different than what the world would have you believe EMS is all about. That we are here for people. We are here to help people no matter what. And especially, the people who aren't easy to help.
If we're twenty hours into a twenty-four hour shift...how can we have a good attitude at three in the morning when we desperately need sleep and a drug seeker or homeless person is abusing our service? We can, but only by realizing that we are here as much or more for them as the ones in critical condition from a car wreck or heart attack. It's easy and fun to help someone who got hurt by accident, who didn't deserve this. But what really excites me about being a paramedic is that when I come to work, I know I will have the chance to help people in all situations - some of them who legitimately need my skills, advanced-life-support knowledge and equipment, and others calling me only because they can’t afford normal care, or they’re afraid and don’t know who to call.
Every day I get to be in a position of leadership, capable of influencing the way people in these vulnerable situations will be treated. For that, I am finally beginning to be so grateful for this crazy job, and learning to love it more than I thought possible two years ago.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
forgive me...
Ok, ok, I promise this blog isn't going to be just a bunch of silly pictures. But I came across this and, being the bacon lover that I am, I absolutely could not help myself:
Yes.
This is a beef and cheese patty wrapped in a bacon turtle shell, with hot dog legs and head! Bar-b-que style.
Yes! Where can I get one of these? Is it possible that things like this really exist? Or is this a mere fantasy designed to ruin my chances of ever enjoying lentil soup and salad? If I was ailing and contacted the Make A Wish foundation, or was on death row and had my final meal request, could they find this for me?
One can only hope.
Yes.
This is a beef and cheese patty wrapped in a bacon turtle shell, with hot dog legs and head! Bar-b-que style.
Yes! Where can I get one of these? Is it possible that things like this really exist? Or is this a mere fantasy designed to ruin my chances of ever enjoying lentil soup and salad? If I was ailing and contacted the Make A Wish foundation, or was on death row and had my final meal request, could they find this for me?
One can only hope.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
tell me something good
After years of resistence, I've finally decided to start my own blog (I'm going to do my best to not let it become a self-indulgent vent-fest). And if it ever does get that way, you know what to do...
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