rest

Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

see you soon - coldplay

catching up on family time

I finally got the chance to post some pictures on facebook of some great family moments we've had in the middle of all this medic school chaos. And...due to that chaos and business, I'm gonna be lazy and just put the link to the album here on this page:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=223282&l=95152c2f09&id=628423586

I'm so thankful for these little moments when I can sneak home for a few hours at a time, shake off the horrors of the trauma I've witnessed, forget about emergency medicine, and soak up my family. What a lucky guy I am to come home to those three beautiful people.

fun being a father

Everett is learning how to sit up, and as with Simone when she was this age, watching him learn his new skill is our favorite way to entertain ourselves. It's shocking how many hours Crystal and I spend just watching our kids and getting a royal kick out of them!

Here's a picture of some home-made doughnuts Crystal made for Fathers' Day! I almost passed out when I took my first bite.





When I told Simone we were gonna eat doughnuts her eyes bulged and she said, "Yaaaay! I haven't eaten doughnuts in like 3 DAYS!" I laughed hard. And then I wondered what Crystal feeds her when I'm gone.

I feel like the luckiest guy in the world on this Fathers' Day. Crystal made me feel special. The kids made me laugh all day. Didn't have to work, so I got to be at church with my family, which is rare lately. I was caught up enough in school to mostly take the day off and just enjoy these beautiful people I get to live life with.

Thank you, Abba. Thank you, Amma. Thank you, Creator.

don't jump

One of the blogs I follow is PostSecret, a website that publishes postcards sent in by people anonymously. Most of them are confessions, secrets that the senders aren't comfortable telling their loved ones, but need to be expressed. It is sometimes so sad, sometimes shocking, sometimes so eye- and mind-opening to see what my fellow humans carry around with them every day - the good, bad, and ugly.

About a week ago, someone posted this postcard:





And within seven days 59,000 people had joined an online community through PostSecret and Facebook offering notes of encouragement and hope to this lost person. Here are a few postcards sent in response:











This movement even caught the attention of Time magazine. Here's a link to the article in Time's News Feed.

This story just blows my mind. I am such a cynical person sometimes, and I often feel totally disgusted by humanity, myself included. What a startling counter-attack to the pervasive middle-finger-stuck-out-at-the-world mentality of today. For that many people to care so much that one person who is lost, who they don't even know, be found before it's too late - What a divine display of humanity and love for a total stranger.

mountain man

Yesterday was too beautiful a day to be inside. Once the rain left there was a misty, overcast sky that made the grass look so green it felt like a dream or a cartoon. Unlike a sunny day, when all the colors seem kind of washed out, gray skies allow all the colors of the earth to shine in a way that I find startling and always have (hence the picture I use as my blog header).

I knew of one place where we could really enjoy this. So we went for a hike at Devil's Den State Park. There's a trail there that leads to a lookout called Yellow Rock, where you feel like you can see the whole world in front of you. You have a vantage point of miles and miles of Ozark mountains, and snaking rivers. A place where you can't help but feel at peace.

This was the first trip to the mountains for Everett. We were a little concerned about how a four-month-old would tolerate an hour and a half hike in the Bjorn, but let me tell you...Like a wild mountain lion, he scampered over logs, adeptly scaled rock walls, caught muskrat with his bare hands, and gnawed on them with his eager gums.

I'm kidding - the doctor says he won't be able to do those things for at least two more months. He sat pretty still, went along for the ride, eyes glazed over, half asleep, and didn't do or say much of anything. We had a blast.





















(this is what happens when you try to take your own family picture: two-year-old looking at a bug, baby trying to eat his arm, vein popping out of the cameraman's head, and stunning wife doing exactly what she's supposed to be doing)

moses

I have been officially accepted into this year's Paramedic program, and will be starting in two weeks. This is an advancement from EMT to Paramedic that I've been looking forward to for a long time. Here's the catch. Every paramedic I talk to asks if I'm ready for my year in hell. One told me that his year in the program should count for credit as time served in hell, in case he ends up there. The head of the program told me to take lots of pictures of my kids in the next couple of weeks, 'cause otherwise I won't remember what they look like by the end of the year. Why? Well, for eleven months I will be working my normal fifty to sixty hour weeks at Central EMS, in school for sixteen hours a week (four college classes for each of the three semesters), doing clinical rotations in the ER for twelve to twenty hours a week, and somewhere in between, finding the time to do homework.

And so, logically, I am filled with anxious thoughts about the coming year. When am I going to be with my family? What's Crystal going to do this year? I'm used to being a very involved dad, spending lots of time during the weekdays with my kids, since I work such strange night and weekend hours. Will they forget me? Will our marriage be o.k.? Will this even be worth it?

Yesterday, I had the little ones while Crystal did one of her cleaning jobs, and Simone was in a musical mood. She spent no less than an hour singing out loud about everything under the sun. It was a really hilarious and touching window into her mind. For a while I was distracted with Everett, and wasn't paying close attention to her musical monologue. But one line was so melodic that it caught my attention, and I began to notice what she was singing in her angelic voice:

"Don't be sad...anymore
Don't be afraid...anymore
You don't need to worry...anymore"

I said, "Simone, that's so pretty, what are you singing about?"
She said, "I singin' about Moses."

It gave me the chills. In the Hebrew story, Moses was a great mediator between God and people. He had a special connection, and spoke to the people from God.

I suddenly had the sense that God was speaking to me through my little singing Moses. Do not fear. Do not be anxious. There's no need.

Alright, then.